In the news in NIgeria today

An increasing trend I've noticed in news in my own country is the tendency to overload on particular news items as they occur. Yes, when tragedies or major events occur I can understand why additional coverage may be warranted, but sometimes it can get excessive.

Nigeria is in that phase right now. Over the weekend a domestic plane crash occurred killing just over 100 people and the presidents wife died (from complications arising from liposuction or similar surgery in Spain). So for the last week, all stations have shown nothing but commentary and interviews with every conceivable person with an opinion on the two incidents.

The most annoying part for me seems the endless list of governors/states/important individuals who feel the need to “share their grief” with the nation by putting advertisements on television to proclaim how upset they are to share condolences. The cynic in me really thinks most do it because they don’t what someone (or member of the voting public) saying they didn’t care enough. But then again, maybe I am just a cynic.

The most interesting thing I think is what the president will do for a new "representative wife". For actually he has many wives (I’m not even sure how many) but this one (Stella Obasanjo) was the "official wife" who accompanied him on international trips etc. How will they decide who steps up to the number one position, or will he leave the role unfilled? We’ll see in future weeks I guess.

Trouble in Paradise

One factor I perhaps never considered until recent events occurred in both Lagos and Ife was the danger when boys in uniform get nasty.

On a recent trip to Lagos I was somewhat shocked at first to read a story of how the police and army had started fighting in Lagos city. Now generally, you would expect a fight between two armed forces is going to be a bad thing, you just generally don’t think its going to occur in one country, except perhaps in the case of civil war. I’m not entirely sure how it started but each group ended up retaliating successively by selectively kidnapping/beating/shooting members of the other group, or in the case of the army, burning a police station and 40 or so cars in the vicinity. Of course, this kind of violence is never going to be restricted to the "barrack boys" alone, as several bypassers have been caught in crossfire and wounded or killed by stray bullets.

Almost at the same time in my own Ife, two other groups were having it out. For some reason or another the police had badly beaten an Okada (motorcycle) driver and the fellow subsequently died. Most likely the poor guy had refused to pay a bribe when stopped by the police for a minor infringement. Of course the Okada drivers were outraged and proceeded to select an officer (I believe at random) and inflict similar punishment on him.

How this situations escape from escalating sometimes amazes me. Luckily I am yet to experience any of this sort of thing first hand.

Bureaucracy!

Not unique to Nigeria, but significantly more apparent than somewhere like my home country is the often difficult or irritating level of government bureaucracy that one must go through to get things done sometimes. I experienced this first hand for the first time when I had yet more visa trouble.

Getting a call on Wednesday last week from AIESEC I was told that the Lagos immigration office decided they could not extend my visa as planned and therefore I would likely have to leave the country within 5 days. This was slightly unacceptable to me since I had not planned to leave until December, and nor did I even have a plane ticket at the time. So I was forced yet again to find a way out.

This first of all involved a trip to Osogbo, the state capital of Osun state (where I stay). After talking to a few immigration officers I was directed to come back the next day with a letter from this and that (I think the guy was making up the conditions on the spot), some document copies, a member of my workplace and a "yet to be determined" amount of money. With some trouble I managed to get back the next day with all they asked, but after several hours of negotiations I still failed to get my visa extension. Although no-one could really tell me why, they said they didn't have the authority. I don't know exactly what changed between July and October but anyways they said I had one last chance if I went to Abuja. So in a last ditch attempt to stave off deportation (well that may be a slight exaggeration but I would have had to leave for sure) I went to Abuja with an official letter from the Osogbo office (very important in Nigeria).

Luckily I was able to ask a "contact" to help me there. For finding my way to the right person with a friendly attitude there might have been some trouble. To cut a long story short after two days, and a deal of luck (but nothing illegal or corrupt!) I managed to get what I came for. I guess you could say my experience was therefore mostly painless in the end. But it reminded me of the great mess of official bodies Nigeria seems to have, both inside and outside of government.

You notice signs everywhere, but especially in Abuja the capital, for innumerable organisations, agencies, associations, clubs, unions, committees, boards, representatives, monarchs, governments, workgroups, and chairs. For whatever group you can patch together, there is an organ that will represent them. This goes from the local village progress committee right up to big unions of workers (popular ones being the motorcycle riders, hairdressers and my personal favourite – concrete block manufacturers and tipper owners association).

What do Nigeria and Australia have in common?

One of few things I like telling people that Australia and Nigeria have in common (there aren’t many!) is that we both have planned capital cities. By that I mean both our countries, at some point in their history decided to build, basically from scratch, a capital city, in the middle of nowhere it would seem. So, often people will think the capital of Australia is Sydney but it is in fact Canberra. Similarly, the capital of Nigeria is in fact Abuja, not Lagos. The only other country belonging to this prestigious group (that I know of) is Brazil (capital Brasilia). Unless of course someone could tell me another example.

So, although the circumstances were unfortunate (I’ve explained in another post), I can now say I’ve been to Abuja. And yes, Abuja was indeed very much like Canberra. Spacious, wide streets, low traffic volume, just generally more chilled and well…… not like the Nigeria I am used to! In fact there are many things Abuja has that most other places in Nigeria don’t – working street lights, low rubbish factor, open spaces, groomed streetscapes. It also is missing some things like low budget housing and hawkers (well not as many anyway). The affluence there is very apparent. Lots of new and luxury cars and big houses. There are lots of large, raised roads, underpasses, and open spaces for future development. A lot of the workers in the city actually live in satellite towns that are some distance from the main centre of Abuja (maybe 10-15 mins drive).

At its heart it seems to currently be a civil service city, though from what I saw some industries and other businesses are springing up. I saw more construction sites in Abuja than I have in the rest of my travels in Nigeria put together. Plus the embassies are slowly relocating there (from Lagos) and you’ll see the headquarters of many international organizations (such as UN agencies etc.) there, contributing to the higher foreigner (white guy) count (for some reason most of the expats seem to be jogging whenever I see them). All of this and more has contributed to the cost of living in Abuja being a little higher than the rest of the country, though as never experienced that fully as I was hosted for my short stay by one very kind acquaintance of my boss. I haven’t yet experienced the nightlife or social scene there, but I hope to return in December and will see what it’s like then.

Kiriji War Memorial

Attended a more unique "cultural" event in September. It was the Kiriji war anniversary celebration in Imesi-Ile. I happened to be there because that is my boss’s home town.

Until late 1800’s different Yoruba groups (towns/language groups/clans?) had continually fought against each other for land/power etc. The anniversary celebrates the "last" war between these different Yoruba groups before they’d had enough and decided not to fight so much any more.

After turning up and sitting down amongst the few hundred spectators I was once again called (though as usual, slightly embarrassed) to sit at the high table. No matter where I go here, for the simple fact that I errr… stand out in the crowd, people seem to think I am a person of some importance (which of course I am not) and want me to join the big boys (VIPs, traditional rulers etc.) up the front of any ceremony. So after some debate I joined the big boys at their high table for the official proceedings.

The man I was sitting next two I didn’t know but I actually saw his photo in a magazine the next day (by some bizarre co-incidence) and he was named there as the chief priest of Ifa. The others were various important Yoruba figures and traditional rulers. Each in turn gave his speech about something or the other (I had no idea mostly as it was in Yoruba). The one particularly animated bunch came in making a hell of a racket.

Seems these boys were carrying guns from the original war (or replicas) because they were almost as long as they were, and were those old kind were you had to pack the bullet/gunpowder down with a long stick thingy (don’t ask me I don’t know much about guns, let alone the names of the old-timey versions). They look fragile and like if you would fire them they would break apart. But that’s where looks were deceiving. For when they fired them, they sounded and felt much like canons going off. Anyway, these boys fired their guns in the air, made music and sang, the big boys gave them money and off they went.

This whole circus ended and everyone who had one, got in their cars and headed off to another part of town where a monument had been erected (deep into the bush of course so we had to get out and walk some way). After that they were supposed to head off to various other locations but we instead headed home.

I could have gone back the next day for a masquerade, but had already promised a work friend of a friend’s I would come to his daughter’s "freedom" celebration. For apprentices (e.g. this girl was an apprentice tailor/dress maker), when your supervisor decides you are good enough to go out on your own you have a kind of graduation celebration (despite the fact there is no graduation ceremony she was still wearing the gown and cap!). It was enjoyable enough as the father blew probably half a year’s salary on a party to feed random acquaintances such as myself. The only penance being that most of us were obliged to spray money on his daughter. This is something that happens at most similar celebrations (weddings, burials etc.) where the celebrants dance and everyone else comes up in turn to produce various sized notes of local currency (or American dollars if you want to show off!) and proceeds to stick them to the face of the dancer. Normally a friend will collect these notes for you into a plastic bag. The friend is also busy changing big notes from would-be sprayers into lots of little notes so it will seem like they are giving more. I also drank several litres of palm wine, no wonder I felt it was such an enjoyable event.

Lagos. Again.

Every time I go to Lagos I am amazed at some of the strange small things I see. To give you some idea here are some more recent examples.

It seems common here for wear clothing that is imprinted with any strange combination of logos and slogans taken (stolen) from around the world. However, I’m not sure if one young man was fully aware of the origin of the shirt he was wearing. Ok, he must have been aware, but if he was, why was he wearing it?

He was wearing a bright orange, seemingly prison issue shirt that had in huge letters across the back "Los Angeles County Jail"

Ok I saw one very clever advertising scheme by a slightly haggard looking old man in a motor park somewhere in Lagos. He was selling insecticide spray or something similar. His strategy – he had collected and glued 200 cockroaches to a big wooden board which he had hanging around his neck (that went almost to the floor). I know there were 200 because he even had them lined up in neat rows.

Lagos doesn’t have a lot of free space. Nor it seems public amenities. So lately I have seen more than one or two pay-per-use toilets. This itself is not remarkable. What is interesting is some of the slogans I’ve seen including - "pay-as-you-shit" and other such imaginative adverts

The Wise Man Knows Many Proverbs

I am not sure if I’ve mentioned it earlier but a significant Yoruba language tradition, and also Igbo tradition, therefore one might dare say Nigerian tradition, is the use of proverbs in everyday speech. In fact whilst rummaging in the dusty bowels (or should I say lofty heights of 8th floor) of my University library in Sydney before I came to Nigeria, one of the few books I found with any significant reference to the Yoruba language, was one on West African proverbs. Read one of Chinua Achebe’s village setting novels and you’ll soon get the picture about Igbo proverbs. In them, it seems like every second sentence by an elder is a proverb.

Occasionally, people use them around here use them in my presence, and more rarely I might ask the meaning. I thought maybe I’d just share a few I learnt recently. Some require explanation and some are more obvious. But Nigerians readers please don’t be too harsh on my explanations/translations, for they were given to me by someone else.

Agbe po la ja ri kan ko lole
(The person who carries oil off the roof is not the only thief)
Meaning – Palm oil, one of the main two oils used around here, is traditionally kept on the rooftop to keep it warm and prevent it from settling/coagulating or something. The proverb is saying that when it is stolen, you need the thief and someone to lift the thief up on the roof. It is therefore supposed to be used when one perpetrator claims innocence by saying "I was only helping, it was the other guy that did the crime". Very useful for small children I think.

Eni tab a tori e fagbon ko ni duro je nbe
(Who soever will break coconut on his head will not live to eat it)
Meaning – this one has a historical (mythical?) story. Supposedly a king had a bunch of slaves who collected coconuts for him. One day he decided to test the strength of his slaves by breaking coconuts on each of their heads. His advisors warned him thus, that by doing so he will be losing his slaves that get the coconuts for him.
When talking to my workmate about dealing with difficult (but influential and critical) people in our work he taught me two funny proverbs.

Ebe laa be osika ko je a rilu gbe
(Sometimes you must pacify a wicked person to live in the same town with him)

Ka do bale fa rara ko pe ka ma ga
(Prostrating for a dwarf doesn’t mean you won’t grow tall)

Believe me there are hundreds more. I’m sure a few university students and researchers over their time must be documenting all of these, but this is just a taste after all. I’ll try and post a few more of my favourites here soon.