Nickolo, Kolonike and Kolo boy (Seyi)

My attempts to learn the Yoruba language have been sporadic. Though one thing I do take delight in is the insults trading I do with my two usual after-dinner companions at home.

Often after dinner at the house I will watch movies or play cards with Nike and Seyi, who are my boss’s niece and nephew. Due to our competitive spirits, slight boredom and a certain vagueness on the part of some participants in the group, it had become typical for us to be leveling tongue-in-cheek insults to each other. This proved an excellent way to add to my "useful Yoruba vocabulary list".

Now I know this is probably not the kind of thing I should be highlighting, but isn’t this always one of the first things you learn in a new language? Some fine examples include:

Ori efo (literally your head is broken, but meaning you are stupid)
Ara oko (literally meaning man of the farm/bushman)
Tokode (just arrived from the farm)
Tombolo (Thief, well it has a few meanings really!)

And a bunch of others I forget the exact names of:
mu mu, ode, , o po nu, didi rin, (all of which equivalent to various degrees of idiot/imbecile)
oloshi (I’ve been reprimanded by Nike for using that one so I think it must be something pretty bad).

oh and from the title - kolo means crazy!

Dare I ask, do any Yoruba speakers out there have some extra examples I can use for ammunition at our next card game?

Bargaining, Naija style

I thought I should just relate this market conversation I had on the weekend. Try and picture myself (tall, white, Australian trainee) and David (tall, white, Swedish trainee) looking very out of place by walking through the market shopping for material to make David a native Nigerian outfit.

I come across a lady selling this very nice snack, which I believe is shredded coconut, mixed with sugar and fried (no its not very health sounding is it, but tastes insanely good). It went something like this:

Myself - How much for one piece?
Seller - Ten naira per piece
Myself - What are you talking about? These are small pieces and I know they are not ten naira!
Seller - Ok, how much you want to pay?
Myself - Listen I know they are only five naira per piece
Seller - Ok then, how many do you want?
Myself - Alright I’ll take four. But why were you trying to rip me off anyway
Seller - Because you’re white

As David aptly said afterwards, "at least she was honest".

Foil is up

I am expecting a little chaos these coming weeks. Why? Because for some crazy reason the price of fuel in Nigeria has shot up overnight. Incidentally, Nigerians for some reason pronounce the word "fuel" as "foil".

Petrol here in Nigeria is normally the cheapest in the world. Even so, people are constantly complaining even the slightest increase. They are always looking to blame the increase in food costs as a by-product of a 1 cent fuel price increase. Yet late last week petrol prices went up around 40%!

Why, I’m not entirely clear. But I think there were some government people saying something about keeping it in line with international norms, ra ra ra. Someone else told me its just a diversionary tactic. As in they increase it by that much then drop it down weeks later, but higher than the original price, so people don’t feel that the increase was so bad.

But already there was a rush to get to petrol stations and this week I am sure the price of EVERYTHING is going to go up as people start blaming fuel costs for all. There are a whole lot more arguments on the road as people can’t agree with bus conductors. I just hope that’s all the trouble it brings and nothing more serious.

all Things @ly

An eventful AIESEC week here in Ife. First of all we had the LCP and EB elections. A somewhat more "informal" affair than at home in Australia. I am not exaggerating when I say the speeches of some candidates were woeful. More than one person standing for an EB position got and basically said "yeah well I don’t have anything to say but vote for me anyway". Nothing like the old Australian elections with 5 minute speeches, deathly silence in the room and the solid tension that hangs in the air. But I guess all positions were filled and Dele, the current LCP, was returned for one more year (as I used to say to Marty, double-terming LCPs are the way of the future).

Two days later AIESEC Ife had their annual formal dinner. Very cool affair with all ladies and gents dressing in their finest gowns and suits (well there were one or two boys in jeans) and pairing off to attend a formal dinner. It was a slow starting affair, with the usual "African time" start about two hours after the listed time. But I’ve been here long enough now such that I turned up just in time for the start of proceedings. The MC kept us entertained whilst we dined on nibblies, pepper soup, the usual Nigerian celebratory mix of jollof rice, fried rice, moin moin and various meat, then cake and ice-cream. There were also a few awards handed out for AIESEC achievements throughout the last year, an official hand-over form the old to the new EB and a kind of parting presentation for all the graduating @ers. I took particular delight in participating in the best dressed awards. I’m sure I would have won if it weren’t for my socks!!! And of course, this being Nigeria, after the dinner, the tables and chairs were cleared for us all to dance the night away into the wee hours of the morning.


A cool by-product of the dinner, was a chance for me to finally meet Chris, another Australian trainee here in Nigeria, but based in lagos. You see I’d chatted to him before he came to Nigeria on email but never met him since he arrived. I can’t describe how cool it was to hear that familiar accent, gist about all things Australian and finally have someone who can understand my humour (riotous topics amongst us included reminiscing about jokes from "the Castle", bogans, beer, etc.). Maybe this sounds an odd thing to be enjoying or making mention of, but I think any Aussie overseas would understand. Kudos to Chris who brought to the dinner same bottle of duty-free bundy rum. Though I think one or two girls may regret his decision. One particular AIESEC Ife member, who shall remain nameless on this forum, had a few too many swigs and spent the rest of the night hassling just about every girl in the place!

You know you’ve been away too long when……

I am starting to think maybe I’ve been here too long. I now can’t stand the air conditioning being on in my office. I prefer the heat and humidity of the natural Nigerian climate. What is wrong with me?

And just today I reached a new low. I put on my one and only jumper. Yes, I am so used to this climate, I am cold today. My boss thinks its cause i've lost too much weight and that is a reason to put more on!

Question is, will I survive when I get back home?

A Night at the Movies

I’ve tried over time to write a little bit about some of the more ordinary things about Naija life. One popular activity I should also mention is movies.

Nigeria, it would seem, has a thriving, albeit budget, movie industry. They seem to be churning out movies by the dozen both in English and local languages (well at least Yoruba anyway). It seems anyone with a camera, a few actors and a compound can knock together a film in a few days and get it distributed. A lot of people tend to rent them from video clubs (which are everywhere). You also can rent dodgy, in cinema VCD copies of American movies (from Thailand and Malaysia).

The Nigerian movies are not to my taste generally. They are really melodramatic, with lots of death, tears, adulterous relationships leading to unwanted pregnancies, and many with Nigeria’s other favourite – juju (magic). A lot like to use really, really budget special effects too. I wish I could describe how painfully amusing yet terrible they are. Plus they are extraordinarily long. With two discs and most popular movies having a part 1 and part 2 (ie. 4 CDs of viewing before you see how it all turn out). I do however tend to like the village setting movies made by one particular group.

Ilorin

Well I've attended yet another AIESEC Nigeria conference. This time in Ilorin in Kwara state. Was a really massive one. About 400 people or so. I felt sorry for the OC. I am tending to find however, the bigger the conference, the less you get to know people. Especially since there were 30 Ife AIESECers there, so though it is not always intentional, I ended up spending a lot of time with them.

In all in it was fun still. Especially since I finally got to meet other trainees! And lots of them. About 10 or so from various LCs around Nigeria. We had reps from India, Sweden, Thailand, Japan, Slovakia, Canada, Netherlands, Kenya and of course Australia. There was supposed to be another Australian trainee arriving (also through Ife LC) but he couldn't make it from Lagos having just arrived in the country.

After having been to a few too many AIESEC conferences now, I played the part of absent delegate most of the time. Arriving a day late, typically gisting with Ife folks in our room and utilizing the pool. Incidentally, the Ife folks one of those times started rattling off all the armed robbery stories they had participated in/heard of. Wow things can get rough around here.

Parties too were a little more my style, affording me the chance to drink and chat with a few Awka boys and the various trainees, especially David who is now residing in Ife! One of the days myself, David, Tems, Bayo, Fisayo and Temujade went for a drive around Ilorin. Not terribly exciting, though I would have to live there for a bit to see if I liked the place. I even managed to pick myself up one of the coolest AIESEC shirts ever made.